


Love Only in the Corner of His Eye

by Eggsyobsessed



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Eggsy Unwin x Sebastian (OMC) relationship, Eggsy doesn't know, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Merlin Loves Eggsy, Merlin's pov, Missions Gone Wrong, Not A Lot Of Comfort Here, Sebwin, Self-Sacrifice, Unrequited Love, Watching The One You Love With Someone Else, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: Merlin watches, he's watched most of his life. He watches missions at his job, and now has to watch the man he loves, Eggsy, marry another man.





	Love Only in the Corner of His Eye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anarchycox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/gifts).



> I needed a sort of palatte cleanser between all of the fluffy writing I had been doing. So, I asked for a prompt from Anarchycox for something angsty.  
> This was the prompt: merlin at the sebwin wedding, pretending to be happy for eggsy (who is stupid in love) because he never told eggsy that he had loved him. 
> 
> And this is what I came up with!!!  
> Please, pay attention to the tags, and if you choose to read, thank you.
> 
> As always, Sebastian is my OC with Richard Madden as the fancast.

It’s gorgeous out, and rightfully so for an occasion such as this. The trees full of bright green leaves, sun shining high in a clear blue sky, save for a few white puffy clouds, a warm breeze blowing through and it had even held off from raining the last three days.

Which made the green grass favorable for the white chairs, deep blue ribbon strung from each, that were being placed on the lawn forming a makeshift aisle. Which lead up to the white pergola that was so tastefully strung with deep green vines, white and blue roses - specially ordered for the event - sticking out to go in theme with the grooms colors.

“Ye did well,” Merlin said to Harry. Who was instructing staff where to put a few more flowers on the pergola.

Harry was dressed in a Kingsman tux, one that he had made with his own hands, and it had been decades since the man had tailored. But Andrew was generous and assisted their current Arthur in his quest to be the stand in father for one of the grooms; it warmed Merlin’s heart.

“I better have,” Harry huffed a bit and smoothed his palms down the charcoal grey tux jacket. “Eggsy is counting on me,” he reminded him fondly, and Merlin could see it there; see how much his oldest friend cared for the lad. Loved him like a father should love a son.

“He is,” Merlin agreed, and heard his name called from one of the windows in the Estate. “I better be off,” he squeezed Harry’s shoulder, a look on his face that Merlin chose to ignore.

He was met by Roxy in the hall of their private quarters, and quickly shoved into his personal room.

“You will be late,” she hissed and began to pull his jumper off and shoved his tux at him.

Merlin smiled, it was a small thing that only lifted the corner of his lips. “Thank ye,” he said quietly.

Her brown eyes softened with the same expression Harry had given him, she touched his cheek and kissed the other before leaving him to dress.

He so rarely wore anything but his standard uniform, but today he’d be dressed in a Kingsman tux. Requested of him to dress in by Eggsy, and he’d be a fool to deny the man he loved anything. His chest tightened a bit, and all of the sudden the dark blue tie he was working on choked him.

For a moment, Merlin stared at his reflection in the mirror, and wondered what he was doing. He was only able to allow his mind to wander for a second, before Harry was knocking on the door and not even waiting for a confirmation of entry as he walked in.

“Hamish,” he chided softly, and batted his hands away to help him with the tie. “I am usually the late one,” Harry murmured as he worked, “I’d like to keep my reputation.” There was a gentle smile as he said it, and Merlin returned it in earnest this time.

“Heaven forbid,” he said with a laugh.

Harry smoothed the white dress shirt, before taking the black tux jacket and helping Merlin into it; Merlin held still as Harry dressed him. The white rose pinned carefully to the pocket that held a pocket square, an identical color to his tie with intricate swirls embroidered into the fabric. The names of the grooms and date of the wedding sewn in; a favor for each of the groomsmen.

“There,” Harry nodded with finality. “You will do,” he approved, and clapped a hand over Merlin’s shoulder - that look returned to his remaining brown eye.

“Don’t,” Merlin begged. Because he wasn’t sure he could handle the speech Harry was about to give him, or perhaps something else; he didn’t want to find out.

Harry cupped his cheek and gave a bright smile this time. “Very well, let’s be off then. We don’t want to keep Eggsy waiting,” he said instead.

“Aye,” Merlin agreed, and didn’t dare to look at himself in the mirror before they headed out.

\---

The guests started to file out and take their seats as the music played a soft melody. It was the instrumental version of Your Song. It was oddly comforting, with the mix of birds chirping in the background, and it was like a fairytale.

Merlin stood at the front, a supportive hand on his shoulder the whole time; he knew it was Harry. They watched as Daisy came down the aisle, littering the white carpet - laid down just moments before the guests arrived - with white and blue rose petals. All coordinating with theme of the wedding, and Merlin had to hand it to Harry. At least the man could find a job in wedding planning if Kingsman didn’t work, or perhaps he could do it on the side.

His thoughts quickly halted, as he turned his attention to Eggsy, who was smiling brightly with a look of pure happiness and love creasing his youthful face.

He was gorgeous, absolutely stunning.

The music changed, as the Scottish wedding march started with a set of bagpipes playing the music. It caused a sense a pride to unfurl in Merlin’s chest, but he was finding it hard to focus on much beside Eggsy.

A man who has held his heart for half a decade.

The hand over his shoulder tightened, and Merlin was grateful for that, as Eggsy turned to face his groom; his beautiful face no longer in his view.

Sebastian stood before Eggsy, an equally look of adoration and joy mirrored in his bright blue eyes, as he grasped Eggsy’s hands carefully.

And Merlin watched, because that’s what he did for a living; he watched and hoped and prayed that what he was doing was enough.

He hoped and prayed that he was enough today, for Eggsy, as he stood beside him in support of his marriage. A marriage Merlin had only dreamed to have with Eggsy, but it wasn’t about him today.

So, Merlin watched and listened as two young people promised love, protection and commitment to one another for the rest of their lives.

\---

It had been beautiful, but of course it would be with Harry having arranged the whole thing.

He was seated at a table.

Eggsy and Sebastian moved around the dance floor in a way that drove the dagger, that had resided there since the day they’d come together, into his heart.

Merlin felt the heat of someone beside him, he didn’t need to look over to know it was Harry. The scent of gin wafting around him, but not strong enough for Harry to be pissed just enough that he felt good.

“Are you okay?” The question was no louder than a whisper, almost blending with the breeze that came through.

“I am,” Merlin confirmed, voice no higher than Harry’s had been.

The air had cooled off tremendously as the evening progressed, but that was not the reason for the chill that ran up his spin and invaded his bones.

“Hamish,” Harry sighed.

He finally looked at him, and saw his own grief reflecting off of Harry’s glasses. “He is happy,” Merlin said, and wondered who he was trying to convince at this point.

Harry came forward a bit more. “But are you?” he pressed.

Merlin hummed thoughtfully, his eyes falling on the newly married husbands waltzing on the dance floor. Both with coupled expressions of tremendous elation, as they were pressed with one another like two magnets. And his heart did that thing, where he knew it was right, but Merlin still wished he had enough nerve to have told Eggsy how he felt.

But that was nor here nor there; he was a married man now.

“Eggsy is happy, and that is all that matters,” he repeated, and ignored Harry’s regretful exhale of breath, as he stood and smiled his best smile.

The one he always reserved for Eggsy. The one that the lad hadn’t noticed held so much more than friendship, but a deep, undying love for him. And he walked into Eggsy’s wide arms, a hug so fierce it hurt, but he held just as tightly and wished, not for the first time that day, he was the Scottish man wearing one of the rings they had exchanged.

“That speech was aces, guv,” Eggsy said as they separated, and curled an arm around his husband’s waist. “Brought me to tears and everything,” his voice was thick with emotion, and that was on of the things Merlin loved most about him; Eggsy’s ability to care so deeply. “Thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better man to stand beside me. I don’t deserve you.” Eggsy took his hand and gave it a squeeze; Merlin squeezed back.

“Ye do,” Merlin assured him, and gave Sebastian a hug, because that was the proper thing to do and it would be a shame for Merlin to deny he was a good lad. “Congratulations,” he said to them both, and walked up to the Estate after he bid his goodbyes.

As he removed his suit, he glanced out the window and for a moment just watched.

Watched the love of his life laugh happily with another.

\---

They say time heals all wounds, but they don’t say anything about healing a broken heart. A heart the continuously healed just a little, and the scars were torn open again. But that meant the new scars that formed would be tougher, and it made watching a little easier.

A decade of watching, but he wasn’t a stranger when it came to witnessing things you can’t control.

But today, he had some control, as he watched Sebastian maneuver around the ball room. He was in one of the empty rooms, all of his equipment set up, and it was one of those rare missions Merlin was needed.

The assignment too sensitive to be a two hour plane ride away.

“Yer mark is by the bar, Gawain,” Merlin instructed. The view shifted a bit, a nod in confirmation from Sebastian.

He was good, almost as good as Harry had been in seduction, but he was a gorgeous man and only seemed to get better looking as the years passed.

Sebastian lead the man to a room, one they had bugged specifically for this, and Merlin had even hid a few weapons under the bedside tables just in case. He was close enough to the man, that Sebastian was able to easily slip the tracker up his arse as he opened him up.

Merlin was watching intently the whole while, and noted a movement in the corner of the room by the curtains.

“Fuck,” he swore, and not soon enough.

He watched as Sebastian was pulled off of the mark and he fumbled for a gun before he was ambushed by five other men.

Merlin didn’t think, and just took his own weapon and abandoned the comms. He moved quickly through the halls, and kept his head down as he skirted through the full ballroom; adrenaline coursing through his veins as he kicked the door open and in a flourish had three men down.

Another gun sounded, it wasn’t his, and Sebastian took out two others. It was all happening too fast and all of a sudden Merlin ran up to shield Sebastian, as the mark fired. He fell into Sebastian’s body, and didn’t register anything, not at first.

A blood curdling scream pierced his ears. Merlin fell to the floor with a thud, and was only vaguely aware Sebastian had beheaded the man they had been after.

“Fuck,” Merlin breathed, his concious finally registering pain and it wavered a bit, another scream, but this time recognized it came from him. “Shit!” he yelled, as an immense amount of pressure was applied to his lower abdomen.

It felt like fire had erupted from the spot, and the same sensation made itself known to his right flank.

“Merlin, ye fucking idiot.” Sebastian came into view, he was blurry around the edges. “Fuck. Mordred I need extraction now, Merlin’s been shot,” he said in a rush.

Oh. So that’s why it hurt so fucking much, Merlin thought to himself. He let out a weak groan as Sebastian turned him a bit, and didn’t miss the assorted curse words he spoke in Gaelic.

“Ye are getting rusty, lad,” Merlin whispered, before his mouth suddenly filled. The bite of iron tainted his taste buds, and he had to turn his face away to expel some.

“Shut up,” Sebastian rebuffed, but there was fear in his eyes. “Merlin,” he said, and shook his body.

He hadn’t realized he was falling asleep, but that wasn’t it and he knew what was happening because he couldn’t feel his hands anymore.

“Come on, mate,” Sebastian begged. “Ye have to stay awake, yeah? There is help coming,” and why did he sound so far away, when he was right in front of him?

He watched the horror play over Sebastian’s features, and he wondered why the lad looked so terrified. Merlin wasn’t scared, not really, because he couldn’t feel the gunshot wounds anymore, but everything was cold, so much colder than it should be.

“Eggsy,” he garbled; his mouth full of blood.

“Aye. Eggsy would be right pissed if ye died, Merlin,” Sebastian agreed. “He’d never forgive me if his best mate died, and ye don’t know what it’s like to live with that man when he’s angry.” He laughed, but it was a shaky sound, and Merlin could have sworn he saw his blue eyes water.

“Take care of him,” Merlin managed to say, before allowing his eyes to close. He felt his body moving, but no amount of shaking would give him the energy to look at Sebastian.

The last thing he heard was Sebastian sobbing a watery reply. “I will. I love him,” and the weight of the younger man’s head on his shoulder.

I love him, too, Merlin wasn’t able to say, and wasn’t that why he had done this?

Sacrifice your life to save another. That was, after all, Kingsman’s motto.

And Merlin had watched his whole life, always watched, but one thing he couldn’t do was watch the man he loved grieve his husband and wait in the shadows in hopes that one day, Eggsy might notice him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, if you choose to read, thank you.


End file.
